Twilight zone

This blog is getting serious fast. I know some people squirm at that, so here is your warning.
Friday I got my PICC line and I got a fancy stretch cotton arm sleeve to go with it... so win, win. I was wondering because usually I had to charge my patients for it. Someone snuck me two for free. I won't name names. I came in with such a good attitude. I prepped myself to be patient, being I had seen many a PICC line inserted and failed to be in the right place, but usually did not take all day. My mom came with me and they admitted me (wait, what) and I watched the today show... 5th hour of today show... finally located the hgtv channel... read some of my new book "Bittersweet", would start to cry and went back to tv... sudoku and crosswords in the patient handbook took up some time... then I got the thing. I always told my patients, "oh, it doesn't hurt too bad". It did and it was sore for two days, so now I won't say that. My iv therapist was a hoot and finally after a couple of hiccups (not in the right place after placement, yada yada), I got out at 3pm. I didn't end on patience. At least it lasted until 1 o'clock.
Jack and I headed up to the cabin to celebrate christmas with his family. It was great to be with everyone and we laughed about my crazy PICC and my huge cover glove*. Everyone wanted to see it and I tried to hide it from the kids so it wouldn't scare them. I did have to wear a short sleeve shirt at one point and John Mac and Henry asked about it. "It's for medicine". Henry asked if I'd always had that.
Brandon led prayer for us yesterday before we left and it was great. This has definitely not happened in my family. I kept waining the whole weekend between being strong and becoming a ball of mush. The only time I did was in the dark falling asleep and when Brandon asked if they could pray for me.
The kids also prayed with us and Brandon asked them if they remembered what my disease was called. "cancer", he said. That was weird. I felt like he was talking about someone else. This whole explanation made me sad. Something about explaining this to kiddos was heart wrenching but I loved that they all were starring at me and saying they believed God answered prayers. I hope this is true.
*I have finally found a reason to go to the tracker supply. To buy these awesome gloves that farmers wear to deliver calves. They help keep my arm dry when I shower or get in the hot tub.
My first round went well today. Jack went with me and even though I wanted to stay home with Dalton and rip out this thing in my arm, I went anyways. I was mostly sad. I'm always the youngest girl there by 40 years and I feel looks of pity, it's probably just me. Jack wasn't able to come in the chemo room with me because of HIPPA, but I had several adorable old ladies with me. This works out well because I love old people. There's a room full of comfortable recliners, a TV, and magazines. We watched the Georgia/ Michigan State game and when Georgia took it back all the way to a touch down, I was the only one who was commenting. Overall, I felt fine with the treatment, just dizziness that went away afterwards.
Dalton is sick again and this has added even more stress. The unthinkable thing has happened, he's lost weight. I know, I know, this is hard to believe. Now I'm worried about that. Satan is certainly trying his best or God is ripping everything out of my hand to force me to give up. I think it's both.
But in the middle of all of it, God is giving me some glimmers of hope. Friends, laughter, the most amazing husband, a little boy I'm completely smitten about, and a coconut cookie. Yep.