Baby Fabric

I finally picked my fabric for the baby's room. It took me forever because I'm so darn indecisive these days (I'm not usually like that). I feel so accomplished! Now to actually do something with it...

More Baby Details

Here are a couple of belly shots, I really didn't start showing until about week 17 or 18 (by the way they are in reverse order due to stupid blogger). I really popped around week 22. It's so fun, I think the best part is feeling baby barrett move. It's especially sentential being pregnant around Christmas, for once I feel like I could relate to Mary (you know, Jesus' birth mother).

So I took a pregnancy test on July 19th... I remember because Lindsey and Sam were in town for her birthday and we had a super Luau Party for the Lindz. I had been feeling a little nausea but didn't want to jinks myself so I kept putting it off. That Monday I knew I had to take one because I was too nauseated. The funny thing is I didn't get one from work-a place where we give FREE pregnancy tests everyday. For some reason I felt bad for taking one, like I was stealing. But it's free, anyways... I get one from CVS, get home and it is not in the box. Are you kidding?! I hate taking things back and causing ruckus, so usually I would have not gone back, but I marched right over there and got a new one. Got home, took it and I could not believe my eyes. That moment felt forever. Jack got home and I didn't wrap the test this time (last time I wrapped the stick and gave it to him as a early anniversary present) but just said, "well, I'm pregnant." There's nothing better than sharing a moment like that with someone who gets it, gets everything you are feeling and you're in it together. That kiss was amazing.

Over the next several weeks God really protected me from anxiety over losing the pregnancy when I could have easily stressed out. At 9 weeks, we had an ultrasound-same time as last time, but this time we a had very different outcome. I can't tell you what that feeling is like to see a heartbeat and know that it is okay. Yes, tears were shed and I have to say I feel in love with little baby barrett the moment I saw it.

Pregnancy has been good overall-the first 17 weeks were rough. Lots of nausea, vomiting, and migraines! but I feel great now. I did have a little fun in telling my friends and family-from recorded cards, to baby mama t-shirts, to flying in for the weekend- it was so fun to finally share the news to those who have been praying so hard for us.

22 weeks in San Diego
I think 20 or 21 weeks
20 weeks
18 weeks on camping trip
Mary Jane and I both at 17 weeks! We are due 2 days apart! I also saw her at 7 weeks and had just found out about her. I was dying to tell her but we hadn't told anyone yet. hehe. This is her third-first was twins. So excited for her and Jason!
I tried everything to relieve nausea, including these awesome wrist bands.
Just thought I'd throw in a picture of Katy, one of my many friends who prayed for me regularly. She's freakin' awesome.
I don't obey the rules, I went tubing and tried wake boarding for the first time while I was pregnant. I eat sushi (okay, cooked but in the vicinity of uncooked), Caesar salad, wine with dinner, and sandwich meat not heated-GASP!). So I don't like rules, but terrified of authority. That's not me above, but my co-workers-yeah, we had lake day for work.
This was at Yazoo with Mary and Akirbs. I think I was around 7 weeks maybe? so I would take a little taste and fill up Jack's glass. Hehehe, so sneaky.

God's Blessings

I've taken forever to do a blog post on Jack and I being blessed with a baby coming in March! I guess I knew everyone who reads this post already knows, but then I figured some of you may want to know details. The real reason I'm posting is to brag on God. One thing I hate is cheese church, so if anything treads on cheese I get the ibbeygibbeys. BUT my bible study teacher said something tonight that made me run home and post-share the blessings God's given you because it gives back to him. That's exactly what I want to do and yell to the world how wonderful God is. You guys it really is a testimony to how faithful he has been through everything. It's so amazing to see his work play out. If anything I hope this encourages you when you are going through something so hard, it hurts and you can't imagine deliverance, it will happen. He will wipe our tears and he will change us.

As you know through this blog, my molar pregnancy and treatments were rough and not pleasant to go through to say the least. As any woman knows who's gone through a pregnancy loss it causes you to question a lot about possibility and if your getting chemo treatments it causes you to question even more. It causes guilt, pain, and loss in so many areas. I'm so thankful for this time. Looking back I still feel that pain that was palpable but I heard God's faithfulness through it and suffered gaining strength and closeness to him. Now I never said I wasn't scared I could never have children of my own, I didn't know that. What I knew was that God loved me and there was a reason. I knew he promised he didn't abandoned his work, that my tears would be dried, and that he does good for those who love him. So I am overwhelmed at his blessing to give Jack and I a baby. I can't believe that he would give me such a blessing and it is only given through him. Jack and I aren't good at making babies or have super eggs/sperm, it is only God's to give. (so take note, if someone brags about this talent, it's not there's to boast about)

I think I also hesitate to post about this blessing because I know the pain of reading someone else's blessing when I long for it. So please guard your heart, don't read things that cause you more pain (so this may be too late to say now that you're this far down the post), and draw boundaries around your heart. I had to learn a lot about distancing myself at the right time and taking care of myself when no one else could.

This is how God works: God takes my heart and heals it. He sends several women in my life not afraid to face my hurt and give me words of encouragement. One of my friends gave me a name of a counselor and I was able to see her and work through grief. You may remember one of my posts mentioning this... I think this was May. God also gives me a full time job that offers health insurance! Yes, I had no health insurance because I was denied due to my treatments, but having a full time job they can't deny me. I get that job in August and we found out we were pregnant in July. We also had been narrowing down adoption agencies to get started on the process and we decide to wait one more month before putting down the $300 deposit to apply. Yes, we find out that month. Isn't God amazing?! He has perfect timing, knows all things, and gives all good things... yet we still question. I continue to pray that questioning is not in my life, that his faithfulness abounds. I can't help but see this looking back on what he has done.

So thanks for letting me be a little cheesy and praising God. On a scale of Tim Tebow cheese to Joel Olsten cheese, hopefully I'm somewhere in the middle.

"Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name, make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that his name is exalted. Sing to the Lord, for he has done glorious things; let this be know to all the world. Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel among you." Is 12:4-6

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you." Is 54:10