He's even better than Adam Braverman

Coming home from St. Thomas to our first house

Today is Jack and I's 8th anniversary. Just wanted to take a minute and talk about Jack. Have you seen Parenthood? If you haven't, you're missing out. It is so good. So good. I identify with it a lot. This season 34 year old, mother of three, Christina Braverman is going through breast cancer. She had surgery, chemotherapy, and a couple of episodes ago shaved her head. Her husband's name is Adam. He's quite the hero of the show. Always doing the right thing and a great husband.
Mine is better. In this situation, I have to say. I'm not claiming we have a perfect marriage, I'm claiming that Jack Barrett was my rock through this past year. Adam Braverman stuck up for Christina at the doctor... Jack went further. He didn't like the doctor at first either. My doctor had my nurse call asking when I wanted the port without even telling me I was going to have chemotherapy. That was not going to fly with Jack. He confronted the doc on it, had an extended list of questions, and made sure I was making the best decision for myself. He never once told me what to do, but gave his opinion, quickly saying he wanted what I thought was best overall. He was my cheerleader. Adam Braverman freaked out when he saw Christina with a bald head (granted she did this in the middle of the night and woke him up. Not a good idea), Jack shaved my head and then told me I was beautiful. Jack is great at words of affirmation.
Jack listened to me cry all the time. He coaxed me to tell him what was wrong when I tried to ignore it. He stayed with me every single time in the hospital on those uncomfortable cots and refused to stay home. He watched Dalton constantly when I needed to lay down. There is no way I could have done it without him and God knew it. 16 years ago God put us into each other's lives. Our reconnection story is a trip, you could not write this stuff, people. This year has revealed yet another reason why Jack is my husband. I would not want to do life with anyone but him. When I consider the hows and why of Jack being in my life, it proves Gods faithfulness.
PS. Parenthood is on Netflix. Watch. It. Now.

Daltie update

Some of you have asked about Dalton and his allergies, so I thought I'd post an update.
If you don't know, Dalton has eczema and allergies to milk (casein and whey), soy, wheat, egg, and possibly peanuts (haven't been brave enough to try yet!). I think I've got them all! It's been a very frustrating and helpless process. After I had to stop breastfeeding when my cancer showed up (He was about 8 months) we found out he was allergic to milk after he would violently throw up every formula. I froze a good amount of breast milk, but it was also making him breakout. That's when we started seeing our allergist and started the long process of figuring out a method to contain the monster that is eczema. There are too many details to tell you here, but at this point he is doing rather well. Praise the Lord for this! Once he got off bottles, his face got dramatically better-around 13-14 months. More testing also revealed he was slightly allergic to almond and wheat, so I switched to coconut milk and stopped giving him wheat. It has helped a lot!
We switched to a pediatric dermatologist at Vanderbilt that took us 5 months to get into to see. He was nice and told me a couple of new tips, but overall it was not the magic pill I was hoping to get. I realize most of the work will be us (this I already knew, but was hoping for an advocate to give us more). It's basically detective work and this I do as a nurse. I'm familiar with it, but as a mom, it's very different. Emotions get in the way because you are the one up with him at night, you are the one seeing his poor scratched, red body. This is hard to see as a mommy.
God has been gracious. Sure, I get frustrated when I can't think of anything else to give my son when he's had chicken sausage 7 days in a row when all I want to make him is a good ol' pb and j. BUT he has relief. He is happy. He sleeps well and doesn't cry from pain. We are off a low dose antibiotic and have a handle on his cold sores. This is an answer to prayers.
Meanwhile, I realized Dalton's sweet allergist is the guy I want him to see. Maybe he doesn't have 5 assistants/residents/nurses, but he remembers Dalton's name and says things like "He just made my Monday". We haven't had to go back to the doctor yet (which is a miracle!) so I guess I'll see what decision we make.
All the docs say about 80% of kids grow out of eczema by age 9 and they want us to start trying his allergies after he turns 2. This is promising. I also realize Dalton is very blessed not to have an anaphylactic reaction (throat closing up, can't breathe). Most of eczema goes hand in hand with asthma, but we will just take it one step at a time. That has been my mantra for eczema. And when others tell me he's itching or there's a red spot for the hundredth time or a special cure... I just take a deep breath, ask God for patience, and hear them out.
I remember posting a blog at a point right in the middle of my chemo treatment where Dalton was having a specially hard time. I was very exhausted and at the end of my rope. I have to say God is good. He answers our calls and has mercy on us. Thankful today.

1 Year ago from yesterday. A beautiful, but red face.

Today, a beautiful clear face. 

PS. Can I also tell you another amazing thing God did?! I've been praying to be able to help someone else going through cancer and God did that this week. My bible study leader has been diagnosed and her oncologist is in my dr's practice. She also lives down the street from me. How amazing is that?! It was a sign and blessing that I didn't ask for and he gave it. I was blown away.

So I got a tattoo...

Aerial view of a tree. I picked the top right.

It's true. I finally did it. I've been wanting one for about 5 years, but I had to research, pick, think, muddle it over, and think some more. It never was the right thing or moment. I knew I wanted something about God or my faith and not a cartoon character (not that there's anything wrong with that). Suddenly I'm going through this cancer thing and realize I must get something to remember God's faithfulness through it all. And the love I've received. So there's that... then I'm discussing with my friend, Katherine, where I'm going to get the thing and she suggests my head. Mmm, that is brilliant! It fits and it's fate. This way if I hate it, my hair will hide it. It's a good starter tattoo and I figured I could get it again somewhere else that would be seen. The good news is, I LOVE it!
Next was the design. It was either Hephzibah (my delight is in her see Isaiah 62:4) in Hebrew or an oak tree. I saw a super cool idea of doing an aerial view of the tree online and viola! we have the design. I love that it's more abstract and a design than a straight up tree. It feels like I won't tire of this and I like that I have to explain it. There's no cool answer to why I chose turquoise to be the color, I just like it.

Setting up

Here we go!

Great tattoo artist. He was super nice and made me feel safe and relaxed.

Several of the other tattoo artists came in to check out the progress. One guy had gotten his head done on both sides and was shivering remembering the pain of it. At least he did it after I started. The pain actually wasn't too bad. Of course it hurt, but not horrible. I would describe it as lots of deep bee stings, repeatedly. I've been through much worse. It actually felt good at some moments-weird-but the artist backed me up and said he had that same feeling when he had his. Something with the nerves up there. Jack actually met me there and he was a little late. They actually started before he got there, only about 5 minutes or so.

Right after! Notice the dripping blood-I'm so hardcore.

So fresh. 

A shot now. Look at my hair growing. Weird and awesome. I'm not going to know what to do when I have to style hair again, let alone short hair. Anyone know of a good hair stylist?!

I have a head tat! WHAT?! I still can't believe I have a tattoo and that it is on my head. A year ago I would have said I would never do that. I've had several people tell me they "like my ink". Ha. Ink. On me. I feel like I fit in East Nashville all of a sudden. I make a much different impression than my old self and I like it!
Here's my list I made prior to getting the tattoo of why it meant so much to me. Yes, I made a list. When people ask the meaning, I always what to go into much more detail. I tend to explain better on paper:

• Based on the passage from Isaiah 61:1-3 "The Spirit of he Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captive, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion-to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified." I could speak for days about the redemption of this verse and God giving us his beauty and strength, all to glorify himself.
• Aerial view seems to say God is looking down over me.
• On my bald head where I lost all my hair from chemotherapy
• A tree cannot survive without it's roots deep and established, which is Christ, my Lord. I just can't do it without him. He is my life blood and everything.
• The trunks of an oak tree go up and then cut off into lots of different branches and branches form off of those... this reminds me of life and all the different lessons, trials, and events of our individual lives. My last 4 or so years has it's own set of branches, telling a story, and producing new growth. The tree is slowly becoming stronger and with more and more branches. By the end of my life, I picture a huge oak tree with lots of paths (see picture).
• Oak trees are majestic and strong. They can live up to 500 years and rarely get disturbed by pests. This tree is a glimpse of God's strength. Oak trees are gorgeous, showing God's beauty from creation. God's glory he's given through my story is gorgeous. It shows what he's produced.
• I have gotten through this year with the help of my family and friends. My friends, I consider to be my family. Family is often represented through trees. My family (this means friends, too) gave me strength to stand as an oak tree. They tended to me and cared for me. We all got through it together. All of my individual family members come together to make this majestic tree. Ah, and now I'm getting verklempt. 

Christmas #2

Christmas Eve I cooked a feast for my man, first souffle and it turned out! We went to Christmas Eve service, but only I was able to enjoy because there was no child care and Dalton was not about to sit still. We woke up the next morning and opened our gifts. Dalton was excited when I pulled out his crane and he opened his mickey mouse t shirt. Other than that, it seemed like a normal morning (to him, that is). Afterwards, we headed to Franklin to my parent's house for breakfast. Dalton has a huge boy crush on his cousin, Cooper, and he follows/chases him the whole time. My brother (who doesn't get to come home much) sent their gifts of old tractors that belonged to his son, Tavin. My mom and dad gave Dalton cars, also. He basically was in heaven. 

Loves Mickey Mouse right now "Oh Too-dles!"

The mother load

My sister, Stephanie, and her family-Matt, Cooper, and Grace. Dee and Papaw.

That afternoon we headed to McMinnville and spent the rest of the week and weekend with all of Jack's family. It was great to see them and spend time with everyone. Lots of hot tub action especially when the snow came! 

All the kiddos

This kept them entertained for hours

Hot tub action!

John Mac playing Wii and Dalton thinking he's playing, too.

Where's Goldbug?! Richard Scary book among one of Dalton's favorites.

Hope you all had a great Christmas!

Christmas #1

I have several Christmas outings/parties/days to share. Therefore, I will split the posts up. First up, santa and nfg party.

We had our yearly NFG christmas party. Each year we do a white elephant gifting game and this year we upped it to $10. Whoa. I gave Season One of Full House and a homemade shirt with Michelle Tanner saying "You got it, Dude!". I got the scissor mouse and I used it to wrap my presents. Thanks, Katherine :). 

April is holding Jack's entry, the perfect tortilla pan, and 

Wish I got gotten this one: hot spot (or something like that). I could totally use it.

Traci and Judd included a framed picture of them since it is their last year (SAD!). She hopes
we will regift this every year. I say there's a good chance with richard and katie having it.

Everyone holding their gifts

Did anyone see Parenthood this week? I sympathize with Christina when I say my wig looks ridiculous.
Why did anyone not tell me?

We are on a tight budget these days, but I like to get Dalton's picture with Santa (even though I knew he would cry. Sick? Yes). I saw on Twitter that the farmer's market had Santa on a saturday for free. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but he ended up being pretty cool. He plays like 10 instruments, in a couple of bands, and has won a grammy. He and his wife own a bakery in the market. Bonus: it was free and there was no line. Ha! Nice Santa.

Chatting. Dalton is playing it cool...

Let's just get the money shot...

You gave me my first candy cane and maybe first candy, I love you.

It was a hit.

 I wanted to include some pictures of our Neighborhood Fellowship Group weekly meeting. Almost all the kiddos were there, so it was fun to watch them all play and wrestle. You will notice Dalton only has one Christmasy shirt.

Action hug with Lilian

"Hey, tag me in guys"

Pile on Caroline. Good thing her dad was there to save her.

Thankful

Thanksgiving was perfect. We had much to be thankful for and got to spend it with family. Jack's brother, wife, and 5 kids decided to come up for the week. Jack's mom was scratching the turkey for mushroom lasagna (jack hates mushrooms. She said he could pick them out. Hilarious!) but he put "his foot down" and we had a turkey. All the kiddos raved about it. I made a tunnel of fudge cake from Cooks Illustrated and it was rich and delicious. Serious stuff. Let me know if you want the recipe. Dalton loves playing with his cousins.

Hannah and Caroline

The Barretts on a hike at Fall Creek Falls

Henry, Hannah, Caroline, William, Dalton, and John Mac

That weekend we went to Chattanooga and went to the aquarium. It's a short drive from the cabin. We had a good time and Dalton loved running down the ramps.

Thankful to be with family and feeling normal. Thankful I could cook. Thankful I could go through the whole day without sleeping or laying down (we opted to take naps anyways :)). Thankful to be able to be a mom and wife like before.