Update

I just thought I would update my friends on the latest with my miscarriage from September. My hcg levels have remained elevated and so my Ob/gyn referred me back to my Oncologist, Dr Wheelock. I've since received 2 doses of methotrexate from Dr Finke. Before they had thought possibly an ectopic pregnancy but my oncologist thinks it is another trophoblastic tumor. He's not sure when it developed because their are numerous scenarios that could have occurred. It could have been there my whole pregnancy with Dalton, started from left over placenta after delivering, or started with my last pregnancy event. He's just not quite sure. They did an ultrasound, MRI, and chest xray on Friday and I'm happy to report it was all normal. My most recent level was 440, slightly down from 480 (much different from 200,000 last time!). I start back on methotrexate on Monday and repeat everyday through Friday.

Thanks for all of your prayers. I have to say it's been a hard time recently and I'm torn because I'm ecstatic with this little boy I have but then this other stuff is trying to haunt me. It's a weird mix of waiting and thankfulness. I kind of feel like I'm floating and every once in a while I hit the side of the wall with a random emotion. I was looking back over my old posts from this previous experience and it is amazing to see the difference of having sweet Dalton this time. When he looks up at me, it makes everything disappear for a moment.
I think I'm going to try and not ask why, but how.