Kentucky Bourbon Trail

Myrtledene Bed and Breakfast (My wig made it for a couple of hours. Too itchy)

Jack and I took a getaway-chemo is over-let's do something fun but cheap-weekend to the Kentucky Bourbon Trail with our friends, Kim and Mike. My chemotherapy nurse was talking about it one day in the treatment room and I decided it would be great. I enjoy tours but had never tried bourbon on it's own. Honestly, I was going for the experience of it and not the tastings. I was pleasantly surprised to learn the art of bourbon. I learned more than I could ever want to know about how it is made, stored, aged, sipped, bought, etc. There are 7 distillaries on the trail, but we were aimming for 6 since they just added the 7th. Kentucky recently added a smaller bourbon tour for micro breweries, too. I had it all mapped out and we set out for the farthest distillary in Lawrenceburg, KY. It takes about 3 1/2 hours to arrive at Woodford Reserve and the drive is beautiful. I bet it would be even be better in the fall or spring.
Here was our itenerary and scores:
Saturday-Leave at 6:30 due to time change. Stop at starbucks on the way.
Arrived at Woodford Reserve for 11:30 tour. A- Beautiful, historic buildings. Smaller, great tastings on the back porch with rocking chairs. Free shot glass. Bourbon-B+ (but I was a rookie in my bourbon tasting)
Lunch in Lawrenceburg at Heavens to Betsy. Aaaa-maaaazinnggg! Seriously. We talked about these sandwiches for the rest of the trip. In the square, whole in the wall, bakery lunch place. I would drive back just to eat here. Seriously. Cheers to me for finding it. A++
Four Roses-Spanish style, making a come back. Most popular in Japan. Slightly janky. Great tasting room and 3 tastings. B Bourbon- B
Wild Turkey-They just renovated their distillary. Very nice, but industrial. B-. Tasting-A-
Checked into our B and B. Beautiful, civil war house ran by nice man whose Aunt owned it. He and his wife and three boys lived in the house. Great food. Beautiful atmosphere. A steal of a price. Another win for Cindi. A+ He recommended a Okina in Bardstown that was wonderful. Great prices for huge rolls. The sushi chef was on the original Iron Chef!

This turkey was wild

Sunday-Woke up to a yummy breakfast at the B and B. Made it to Jim Beam at 12.
Jim Beam-Did on our own tour. The facilities were beautiful and tasting room was the best. They had the most selections. A (my favorite) Tasting:A+
Makers Mark-quaint, village type distillary. Decorated for christmas. Coffee while you wait. The tasting room was beautiful. You can dip your own bottle! A Tasting: B+
Heaven Hill-We didn't make the last tasting. Got there a couple of minutes before closing. I wish we would have just taken our  time at Makers Mark. Good thing this place was last because it was a dud by the looks of what we saw. D Tasting: ? I did buy a small bottle for us to try in the parking lot (I figured we needed to finish the tastings!). It was horrible. F Maybe it's because we'd been tasting bourbon for 2 days, but we were all disgusted by it.
If you fill up your bourbon passport with all the stamps, you get a free t-shirt! Waiting for mine in the mail.

CA Post #3: How to help

I put together a list of things, I found, is helpful to a friend going through cancer:

• Send them encouraging verses, quotes, or prayers. Tell them you care through a text, email, letter, or phone call. Don't be discouraged if they don't respond. They are busy but deeply care and need it. Write down treatment days or big lab days so you can send a note on that day of stress.
• Set up a meal schedule and email friends you know could help & to ask them to sign up, too. My nfg did this for me and it was a life saver for my family. I maybe was able to cook one or two times for them, otherwise I didn't feel like it at all. NFG and other friends supplied dinner the day I came home from the hospital and two other days on my treatment weeks.
• Offer to drive them to treatment or sit with them at the hospital. (I get teary eyed just thinking about my friends who sat with me for an hour or so after work or while their child was in day care. Pizza parties. Magazines brought. Very encouraging for me.)
• Keep sharing your hurts/joys/trials, too. It's hard and lonely going through cancer. You feel everyone else is okay. I know it seems the obvious answer to not bother someone going through this life changing ordeal, but they want to be treated the same. They want to be there for you, too. They want to feel like they aren't the only ones going through pain. They already feel left out and you leave out something going on in your life, it feels even more isolating. If they ask you how you are doing, tell them the truth!
• Pray, pray, pray.
• Celebrate in little ways. My friends set up fun weeks (thank you, Traci!). Whether it was a hilarious poster of funny faces or sending 90's music to them, it will help. Impromtu dance party, breakfast outing, coffee... even if they can't get out of the house, you can bring it to them.
• Offer to clean their house, help with chores, take their kid for a couple of hours so they can sleep. You can ask what they need, but honestly, it's just better to tell them what you're doing and do it. Sometimes it can be hard to ask someone to do something even though they've told you they would do it. 
• Buy them a scarf or hat. Better yet, wear a scarf or hat, too.
• Do something in their honor. Run a race, shave your head (serious stuff, I would never ask someone to do this. Maybe a boy)...
• Take pictures and make a photo album. Buy a scrapbook for all of their cards, etc.
• Help the caregiver at home. They can be overlooked. Even though they aren't the one going through treatment, it effects them tremendously.
• Bring them their favorite treat!
• Give books, movies, or any other thing that will help entertain them during treatment.
• Basket of goodies. Mix cd, food, magazines, etc.
• Eat well while around them since they are trying to, also. But if they need a treat that day, let them. 

There are a couple of books I neglected to put on my cancer book list. The first is Anti-Cancer. I actually think everyone should read this regardless if you've been diagnosed or not. It has great research about cancer causing foods and lifestyles. His story alone is amazing. I loved it, wanted desperately to follow it, but during treatment I just couldn't. Now, I am trying to follow his tips overall. No, it's not vegan but he's got some similar ideas.
Second, Crazy Sexy Diet. Bad book title, but there are great diet tips.

CA post #2: To shave or not to shave

Before starting treatment, I had heard of a lot of women shaving their head ahead of time to cope with their hair falling out in clumps. I just wasn't ready for that for a couple of reasons. One, I was not getting the same chemotherapy drugs as the typical woman who wakes up with all of their hair on their pillow, Taxol. I was on Cytoxan, which causes major hair thinning but not guaranteed to take all of your hair. When I asked if my hair would fall out, I got some "maybes" or "yes" or "not reallies". It was not a straight answer. I was also on a more frequent dose. Most treatments go ever 3-4 weeks, I was every other week. Two, I wasn't ready emotionally. I would say this is a person by person basis. If I was guaranteed to have all my hair to fall out, I would shave it. While it was hard to have clumps fall out, not all of it fell out at once. I wasn't emotionally scarred, but could see how many women would be. I did eventually get to a point where I was ready to shave it. A couple of reasons: easier, when else would I do this?!, it would look better than what I did look like (meaning I had little hair left leaving to me to look like a desperate man doing the comb over with three little strands of hair). I knew when I was ready and it was liberating! If I had done it sooner, I would have cried my eyes out.
All this to say:

• do it if you will have hair loss as a side effect, either all or hair thinning. 
• Do it when you have prayed about it and prepared yourself emotionally. 
• Have someone shave it that loves you for you. I had Jack do it. He's been my partner through this whole journey. If he could tell me he thought I was absolutely gorgeous with a hideous comb over, he would love me with a bald head. It was actually a beautiful family experience I will never forget. 
• If you don't have a husband, ask a best friend. Have someone there to hug you afterwards and tell you it's okay. If you need me to come sit with you or call me, I'd love to be your support.
• I would recommend reading a verse before hand about God's immense love for you.

Head coverings: my pick was scarves and a very well used hat. Man, have I worn my hat out.

• You will have a cold head. It will be such a weird feeling. Bald heads are great for exercising, giving a nice cooling effect when you're sweating. Oh, too bad you can't work out when you feel like crap! This is just wrong. A plus and you can't even use it. I guess if you have hot flashes it will be nice, too.
• I personally do not like wearing wigs. They are itchy and hot. I am thankful I can wear one occasionally to a nice outing and feel "normal". Other than that, I wouldn't bother. 
• Hats are great because you can just slip them on when you wake up. Scarves take a minute to tie and you don't have time for that when your toddler is saying "mommy. mommy. mommy...". 
• Also, if you get a heavy scarf, it will fall if not tied correctly. This will drive you crazy when you are in the grocery store to the point you will rip it off in public. Find a light weight one and see my scarf post for ways to tie.
• A sweet woman at bible study yesterday told me about these scarves that just slip on. I'm going to go check them out.

You will love not shaving! I just shaved for the first time in about 3 months (yes, my hair is growing back). Bliss! Total cancer bonus.

Advent

Growing up in the Baptist church Advent candles were a huge event. We lit one every Sunday and a different family in the church would light it and read the verse. I kind of wanted to be that family, but it never happened. Probably for the best.
I don't know what it was about the lighting, but I got so excited. The anticipation of counting down to Christmas? Another way for me to mark off something from a list?
A few years ago I started my own lighting of the candles because the church we attended didn't do it at the time. It was a little janky, but it got the point. I would look up random advent verse readings online but this year John Piper came out with a free ebook just for December 2012. I thought I would share for those of you who are lighting candles or moving a paper doll around a calendar. http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/books/good-news-of-great-joy

I want to get focused on why I am celebrating Christmas. Sometimes I can just "do" tradition for the tradition of it and not the meaning. I love this excerpt from the book that reminded me of why:

"What I want most for Christmas this year is to join you (and many others) in seeing Christ in all his fullness and that we together be able to love what we see with a love far beyond our own half-hearted human capacities. This is our goal in these Advent devotionals. We want together to see and savor this Jesus whose first “advent” (coming) we celebrate, and whose second advent we anticipate.

This is what Jesus prays for us this Christmas: “Father, show them my glory and give them the very delight in me that you have in me.” Oh, may we see Christ with the eyes of God and savor Christ with the heart of God. That is the essence of heaven. That is the gift Christ came to purchase for sinners at the cost of his death in our place."

Book List

I'm putting together a couple of cancer-help posts. One thing I am passionate about is helping other people through situations especially if I have been through them.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
If I'm going to go through all this, I want to help someone else, too. While not everyone has my rare, weirdo cancer, there are others who have been diagnosed with another cancer and I would love to give advice of what I have learned.
I'll start with books that I read and liked. (Other posts to follow on other subjects)

Besides the bible, Everyday Strength by Randy Becton, was my uplifting cheer for the day. It is split up in a day by day devotional, which makes it great for reading before each treatment or before your day begins. I would read it before bed every night and sometimes while I waited in the waiting room. There is a prayer at the end of each entry and as I mentioned before, loved them so much I put it on my mirror.
Love this from Day 4:
"Be grateful that God is working his way in your life. These trials are evidence not of abandonment but of his confidence that this trial will produce glory to his name. You will overcome this period of fear. Be kind to yourself. Refuse Satan's temptation that you're doing poorly. In fact, you are struggling mightily. Your Father is pleased."

Don't Waste Your Cancer was another book I referred back to lots of times. John Piper wrote this the night before his surgery to remove his prostate cancer. It's a very quick 16 page book, but meaningful.
"The aim of God in our cancer (among a thousand other good things) is to knock props out from under our hearts so that we rely utterly on him."

I choose to Laugh by Cara Blakley Smith-can I just say this cover scares me? Blurred eyes make me nervous. Anyways, this book had some more practical advice about hair falling out, physical side effects, plus what to expect emotionally and spiritually. There's a great chapter on how others can help. She has been diagnosed five times. Five. Cara knows what she's talking about.













Jack shaved my head a couple of weeks ago. It was a bonding experience! Dalton was right there watching and wouldn't you know the first thing he did was smile and cuddle my head. Sweet, sweet boy. I just barely had a handful of hair left, it was time. I actually had no sad feelings, it was refreshing and liberating. If there's ever a time to shave my head, the time is now! Otherwise, I think I'd never have the nerve to do it. I've got pictures of the process but I don't want to scare you.

Cuddling my head and sucking his thumb.

Throw in no hair and someone might think I'm some kind of strange girl (night of the premiere, I'm not a weirdo)

Tomorrow marks my one month of no chemo! I can't believe it. And I've gotten to go to every other week on my blood draws. Yippee!
PS. Please don't hesitate to pass along my blog to anyone who has been diagnosed. Better yet give them my # or email. I would love to help in anyway I can.

metaphors

I love metaphors. I think some people think they are cheesy, but I really do connect with them. Maybe it's if you are a visual person it works... I loved using them in therapy and personally connect with them all the time.
My recent favorite metaphors:
Tree: I've been wanting an oak tree tattoo for a while. I can't settle on a design and get scared. That's so me and not Jack. I've been thinking about it for, I don't know 5 years. I love the spiritual significance. Oak trees are my favorite. They are majestical and huge. One of my favorite verses on this subject:

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captive, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound... to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion-to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified."Isaiah 61:1-3

Arrows:
Mary made this for me

That Mary. She's so great.

Weird because I just pinned a quote about arrows the other day that said "An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it's going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming."

Rainbows:

sorry it's so light-just to give you an idea

We just studied the flood and I just have a new respect for rainbows. Don't you love it when scripture you've read many a time becomes new to you? There are 7 colors! Genius.
One thing that my teacher said-sometimes you have to move to see the rainbow. This is also true in hardships... through the rain and even after the rain, you have to get right with God before you see the rainbow in it. He must move you around from your perspective, to his.
I saved a rainbow that I drew from a bible study I did with our old associative pastor's wife. I think it was 4 or 5 years ago. She drew a rainbow and under one side has us put our worries, fears, and insecurities. On the other the actual feelings we have about them. God is at the top and under the actual arc of the rainbow she had us write the promises of God to those worries, fears, and insecurities. The rainbow is a promise of his covenant and the point is to despute those lies. Remember what he's told us. Remember he is in control. I kept this because it was powerful and I take it out often. The bow is actually like a warrior bow and it's pointed towards God, who takes the arrow for us. I actually just made a new rainbow with my present worries because they change- but do they really? Hmm. Deep stuff. Anyways, I wanted to share because it helps me to see verses that dispute the lies that I tell myself and the world tells me. This reminds me of the power that is at my hands that can be easily taken for granted.

Miel

I finally got to eat at Miel. I've tried since last November 6th and a couple of times since, but things keep coming up. Not this time! It's located behind Bobbie's Dairy Dip off Charlotte Pike. Dinner was my birthday present-so yes, I used and digested my birthday present in mere hours-but it was worth it. I'm a huge fan of Top Chef, but a lot of things they make I've never had or sometimes, never heard of. It was one of those restaurants... not huge portions, but amazing taste! It's all about the quality and the presentation. Jack and I had to talk this over during the meal (he got through it). This was not Ruth's Chris with huge portions.
I also wore my wig for the first time. I feel a little ridiculous wearing it, but I'm told it looks real. I feel more comfortable in a scarf or hat, how times have changed!
My birthday day was very fun. I voted with Mary and Jack and even saw my friend, Anna. I wore a silly hat. I wanted to wear my Mary Todd outfit and Jack said no one would get it because he wasn't dressing  up. Silly hat it is.

I also had a great lunch with Mary at Smiling Elephant
and had coffee at the Perch by myself. It was magical.

Daltie and I had a fun morning hangin'

Jack and I had cocktails at The Southern, a restaurant in the Pinnacle downtown.
The fans were cool. Check out the bathroom, too. It may freak you out.

The wig is called "Bridgette". It's from the Jacklyn Smith wig line
at Paula Young.
I need to rename it. I'm not a bridgette girl. Not there's anything wrong with that...Ideas?!

A tasting they gave us when we sat down-trout mouse.
I'm weary of mouses. I think of liver. This was delicious!
A+

Duck Rillettes.
(just for the record, I had to ask what a Rillette was)
A+

Pumpkin Bisque
B+

My entree: North American Trout-celery root,
shiitake mushrooms, watermelon relish, braised onions, grapefruit puree
(this is a little different description from my meal because they have last seasons
menu up.  I didn't want to just
put "Trout" because that would be lame next to Jack's sophisticated description.
Mine was a little different with potatoes, carrots, and arugula.
B+

Painted Hills New York Strip Steak: Pan-seared, parsnips, swiss chard,
pearl onions, baby carrots, red wine demi glaze.
Oh man. The puree was awesome. I kept dipping my trout in it.
Jack gave it a C+ for size and B- for taste. I gave it an A-. One of the best
steaks I've ever had.

Profiteroles with dark chocolate sauce
B+

A spoon of honey and bee pollen, since it's name means honey.
Kind of cute, kind of funny.

I would highly recommend Miel. They ask you at the beginning of your meal if you have any dietary concerns (and when you make reservations). They also have their own garden and use local food sources. It is pricey though, so I would make it a special occasion. If you have a big meat eating man like me, warn him ahead of time. (Jack was perfectly full and I ate most of the food) Bonus: It was election night and therefore we were the only ones in the restaurant from our appetizer on. Jack was sweating it not knowing election results. Now, that is a sacrifice for the woman he loves!