CA Post #3: How to help

I put together a list of things, I found, is helpful to a friend going through cancer:

• Send them encouraging verses, quotes, or prayers. Tell them you care through a text, email, letter, or phone call. Don't be discouraged if they don't respond. They are busy but deeply care and need it. Write down treatment days or big lab days so you can send a note on that day of stress.
• Set up a meal schedule and email friends you know could help & to ask them to sign up, too. My nfg did this for me and it was a life saver for my family. I maybe was able to cook one or two times for them, otherwise I didn't feel like it at all. NFG and other friends supplied dinner the day I came home from the hospital and two other days on my treatment weeks.
• Offer to drive them to treatment or sit with them at the hospital. (I get teary eyed just thinking about my friends who sat with me for an hour or so after work or while their child was in day care. Pizza parties. Magazines brought. Very encouraging for me.)
• Keep sharing your hurts/joys/trials, too. It's hard and lonely going through cancer. You feel everyone else is okay. I know it seems the obvious answer to not bother someone going through this life changing ordeal, but they want to be treated the same. They want to be there for you, too. They want to feel like they aren't the only ones going through pain. They already feel left out and you leave out something going on in your life, it feels even more isolating. If they ask you how you are doing, tell them the truth!
• Pray, pray, pray.
• Celebrate in little ways. My friends set up fun weeks (thank you, Traci!). Whether it was a hilarious poster of funny faces or sending 90's music to them, it will help. Impromtu dance party, breakfast outing, coffee... even if they can't get out of the house, you can bring it to them.
• Offer to clean their house, help with chores, take their kid for a couple of hours so they can sleep. You can ask what they need, but honestly, it's just better to tell them what you're doing and do it. Sometimes it can be hard to ask someone to do something even though they've told you they would do it. 
• Buy them a scarf or hat. Better yet, wear a scarf or hat, too.
• Do something in their honor. Run a race, shave your head (serious stuff, I would never ask someone to do this. Maybe a boy)...
• Take pictures and make a photo album. Buy a scrapbook for all of their cards, etc.
• Help the caregiver at home. They can be overlooked. Even though they aren't the one going through treatment, it effects them tremendously.
• Bring them their favorite treat!
• Give books, movies, or any other thing that will help entertain them during treatment.
• Basket of goodies. Mix cd, food, magazines, etc.
• Eat well while around them since they are trying to, also. But if they need a treat that day, let them. 

There are a couple of books I neglected to put on my cancer book list. The first is Anti-Cancer. I actually think everyone should read this regardless if you've been diagnosed or not. It has great research about cancer causing foods and lifestyles. His story alone is amazing. I loved it, wanted desperately to follow it, but during treatment I just couldn't. Now, I am trying to follow his tips overall. No, it's not vegan but he's got some similar ideas.
Second, Crazy Sexy Diet. Bad book title, but there are great diet tips.