Thursday, June 18, 2009

Praise the Lord, for he is good!




so, if you can read this, it tells you the amazing, awesome news that I don't have to get any more shots! Yes, it's true! I went his morning to receive my news, as I do every thursday, but this time Jack came with me. It was so great to have my best friend there with me. I think Jack has been seeing how hard it's been on me to go alone each week and he asked to come this week out of the blue. It meant more to me than I could put into words to have him there beside me. My chemo nurse told me that it was 4.5 and that like she said last week, I would probably need 2 more rounds after today to get to normal. I secretly died inside as I heard it, but tried to keep up beat as I went into the room. I was scheduled to see my Dr. and he came in, started discussing the process and mentioned "well since it's normal today, this is your last shot". I had to ask him again... what?! He said that at the lab I get my blood work, normal is considered 5 or less, where as some other labs, it can be 2 or less. I have NEVER been so happy for someone to be totally wrong! I couldn't believe it. The minute he left, jack gave me the high five and I burst into tears-I could not contain the relief and joy that overwhelmed me. Jack gave me a huge hug and prayed thanking our God for bringing us this news. 
So the next process will be getting blood draws weekly for 6 weeks, then to every 2 weeks, then monthly for a total of 6 months. So I don't have to go to that office again, just to see Barbara, the sweet lady who draws my blood, in the lab at Baptist! Crazy. 
Last week I was totally heart broken, but God put scripture into my lap that otherwise would not have come to my attention. I was reading over the Psalms before I had to go into work and tried to pull it together... I kept reading about enemies and saving from the foe, etc. and I was thinking "I can't relate to this, I need something else". Funny, next thing I know God points out to me that this is so my enemy, this tumor is my ENEMY and pursues me like a lion. That is exactly what I felt like that day, "O Lord my God, in you do I take refuge: save me from my pursuers and deliver me, lest like a lion they tear my soul apart, rending it in pieces, with none to deliver." Psalm 7:1,2
"When my enemies turn back, they stumble and perish before your presence. For you have maintained my just cause; you have sat on the throne, giving righteous judgment." Psalm 9:3,4
I am so thankful to God for this day and praise him, but it will never be enough. He has maintained my cause all along, it may not be as others see it should go, but he has been faithful. Some may pity me for my experience, but I am thankful that he would enable me to get near to him in this way. Am I saying I would want it, welcome it? No, but if it is his will and brings the joy of knowing him through my hardships, let's do it together. 
Thank you thank you thank you for all of your prayers, weekly checks of numbers, encouragement, cards, texts of love. I could not have gotten through the past 125 days without you (yes, this is the number of days since finding out about losing the pregnancy and then hearing it was a molar pregnancy, d & c, to chemo treatments.) I have the best friends in the world. Honestly. 
Ps. Jack's brother and family are in town this week. He has 4 children and my niece, Caroline and nephew, Henry, helped draw and color this picture for me. They have been praying for me for months. I went over to the Barrett's for a celebratory dinner and they gave it to me. How sweet!

5 comments:

LWB said...

Hooray! Hooray! I'm so glad to hear this, Burgie. I've been anxiously awaiting this day w/ you. So happy and really amazing to watch your whole process -you really handled it incredibly well; so many people would have become hard and bitter.

love you!
xoxoxo

Mary Jane said...

Cindi, I am so happy for you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings during this whole process. The Broge family will continue to pray for normal levels. It has been inspiring to watch your faith during this time in your life.

Unknown said...

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! Merry Christmas!!!

lindz said...

Woop woop! Lindz and Jesus (ok mostly Jesus, but I tried to help a little) have got your back! Glad you are moving on!

melanie said...

haaaaaappy hot dog