but I like them and confession 4

Cheese fries at outback. They are good. BUT they are equivalent to 21 white castle hamburgers. That's not good.

So currently I am interviewing for my practicum for school. It starts in January and I will be done in July! My confession is that I have been super stressed over it for the last month. I am leaving it alone. Letting it go. God will provide and he does. See how silly I sound when I don't trust him? Cindi, remember this. In January, I will be doing my practicum at Trevecca Student Counseling Center. I'm not sure what I'll do in April, but I'll keep you updated. I'm actually going to be doing counseling!! 

Heart wrenching

So last week our church had a private viewing of Call+Response. It's a Rockumentary about modern day slavery. It was set up as a documentary and in between several artists performed songs. It was shocking. There are more slaves today than ever before in human history. Slave traders made more money than Google, Nike, and Starbucks combined. Slavery includes sex slavery, labor slavery, child soldiers and child slavery. The movie was hard to watch but so crucial to see and be educated on what is going on. This is unbelievable. Children as young as 3 being sex slaves! Justin Dillon, the director/producer, first came across human trafficking when he met a young girl in Russia. She was told she could come to America for more opportunity, but it was only a trick and she was sold into human trafficking. Struck by her story, he returned to the states with a burden to inform the public about what was going on. 

Call+Response calls community into the movement. This is not a matter of letting the government deal with it, but we, as a community, can make real plans of actions. All the profits from the movie, soundtrack, and itunes will go directly to projects to end slavery. They have very real projects with clear starts and finish points, for example, a vehicle for child soldier rehab facility, sewing machines for after-care training). Right now, our church is trying to think of practical ways to help.

For more information or ways to respond, go to the website www.callandresponse.com 

This subject is dear to my heart after meeting the people who have been directly effected by child soldiers in Uganda. It is so critical that this be put to an end because it is destroying families, people, communities, and faith. It takes so much more to reverse what evil has done, but it is doable and we must do it! If you have an interest in knowing more about child soldiers, please read Girl Soldier. It is a personal account of Grace, a sweet Acholi girl, and how she escaped the life of a child soldier. My friends that I met in Uganda kept telling me to tell their stories, this is all they want, so please hear their voices. 

Check out if the movie is playing in your area, if not ask them to!

create your list

I have what I call my "life list"... things I want to accomplish in my life and then I have seasonal lists. About two years ago I found a clipping from Real Simple that encouraged the readers to list what they've accomplished in life, things you've thought about doing, and all my possibilities. It was set up like a bulls eye, the things you've accomplished in the center. There was also a part for sort of a warm-up list for leaving the comfort zone. Some people naturally step out of their comfort zone, but that has always brought anxiety to me. It's not that I didn't do it, but sometimes it would create such tension in my mind and body. So about two years ago, God has transformed my fear of inferiority and has joined me in the possibility of failure! (this is a whole other post)

So I pulled out my "bulls eye" seasonal list from last year and I completed 6 out of 9! The ones I completed: 

1. travel to a different country (went to Africa)

2. 2 week mission trip (africa)

3. learn to golf (took golf lessons, still need to play for real)

4. play tennis (done with Jack)

5. run a race (i've since run 5)

6. spin class (i've been lots when I was training for the triathalon)

I encourage you to make your own. Especially if you're a list maker like I am. 

Here's the list to warm you up to leaving your comfort zone, you just fill in the blank:

try____

see____

taste____

listen to ____

visit____

start_____

stop_____

organize_____

read______

play______

learn____

Confession #3

I want to be a dancer and will take a dance class. It's on my life list.

Design and Contacts

So I love Project Runway, I've seen every episode of all the seasons and last night was the finale of Season 5. It was down to Korto, Leanne, and Kenley. I liked Kenley in the beginning; the 50's retro look and her designs were something I would wear. I love the old Hollywood look because of it's class and eloquence and of course, my love of old movies. I get this from my grandfather, Norman, who introduced me to older movies from the 40's-50's. Our favorite movie to watch was Singing in the Rain. I would always spend the night at their house and I'd lay on the couch and Norman would be in his recliner. He always had orange slices and circus peanuts in his candy jar beside his chair with his cigars and ash tray. My grandmother rarely spent time with us while we watched our movies, after we viewed the news she would make her way to her office where she would watch CNN. Norman was in television for years and years and as a boy he worked at a theatre. He loved telling me all about it. Norman had such a tender heart, he was a different side of a male figure in my life. He showed his emotions and told how he felt. I am thankful for him and influence. He was officially my "step grandfather" but he was truly my real one (my mom's dad died when he was 52). My grandparents, which by now you may notice I don't call them "granddad" or "grandmother", but Jeannie and Norman, would take me out to eat and Norman would talk to everyone. Norman was very skinny, maybe a buck 30. I remember distinctly falling asleep on the couch when I was younger and waking in the bed. How in the world did skinny norman carry me up two flights of stairs? He must have really loved me! 

Norman died about 2 years ago in November. He died of complications of colon cancer. It was very hard to see him go through the pain and this time, being on the other side of the ICU experience. As an ICU nurse for four years, I had somewhat of an idea about the process of when someone is not going to make it. This was Norman's time and it was quite obvious. I knew that was the advice I would give to a patients family, if asked, but it was a lot harder to say that to my Jeannie. She knew the same as I did, that he wasn't going to make it. Still, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done, to tell my family it was better to let him go, and they listened. So I saw both of my grandfather's breathe their last breaths. 

So back to Project Runway... I liked kenley at the beginning and then she showed her personality, which was not so pretty. I chuckled at her statement when finding out Tim was a judge "I should have had a better attitude.". Now she wants to be nice when she's getting something. It was just hard to like her because of her defensiveness and attitude. 

Leanne I have also liked along the way. Several of her designs were beautiful, especially the ones she won. She has a very structural side. 

Korto has been my favorite personality. She is fun, lighthearted, and humorous. (she also praises Jesus, which I'm ALL about) Some of my fellow viewers at my finale viewing party thought she was whiny and felt sorry for herself. I personally didn't see this and never thought she was throwing a pity party but moving forward. By the way, I did have a finale party where everyone wore their favorite fashion find or something they've sown. I wore my 75$ banana republic boots that were originally about $300 (see above picture)! 

So last night I LOVED Korto's collection. It was by far the one collection I would wear, except for that really short green dress. I also loved her colors. Breath taking. I loved the blues and greens. 

Leanne's was beautiful. I also loved her colors. Blue and green are my favorite colors and her sea blue was gorgeous. The structure and talent of the collection was great, and I think she mostly won because of her innovativeness and "high fashion" look. She deserved to win, but I did want Korto to win! Overall, I can say I am happy Leanne won. I slept on it and now I'm okay. It's almost like this season of Auburn football. I can except the hard news. 

Last night my dream was of giant contacts. I was dipping my finger in my contact holder as I do every night, but this time they were contacts of all sizes. Some were normal size, others were like 5 feet wide.  I kept unfolding the contact and it kept going. What does it all mean?

Confession #2, plus a dream

I don't like goat cheese. There, I said it. Now I feel better. 

Like I've said before I have very strange and vivid dreams. Last night I was dreaming about these jumpers on horses who were jumping off tall sky scrapers like the empire state building. They would jump to each little level of the building and then jump all the way down. In my dream I was thinking, "those horses feet could not survive that jump! How are they doing this?". Several horses were jumping and then people were going. All of them made it. Meanwhile, I was across the street on a roof top listening to lectures. Of course I was. 

confession #1

If gum tastes really good, I swallow it. I can't help it.