It's in these times you learn the most

Update: I've continued to get my Beta Hcg levels for the past three weeks. The first two times they went down drastically: 272,000 before surgery, to 8,000 one week after and then 5000. Apparently my levels doubled this past week to 10,000. Now the plan is to get a low dose of chemotherapy. I also got a few tests and gave more blood. Tomorrow I go to the doctor so I'll give you more information then. Prayers are much needed. I am scared and tired. Please pray for strength by the Lord because I find myself wanting to just put this behind me when I know it is causing me pain and fear. My natural reaction is to try to act strong and go about life, while secretly I am confused and longing for rest and healing. I just have always been so healthy and it's boggling to me that this is holding me down. I almost feel like I'm mourning something besides the loss of a possible life. Thanks for the prayers.