Summer Days

I've been trying to put the internet to the wayside guys so this blog has been sad. So sad. I'm not even sure anyone even reads it anymore except maybe three people. You are worth it.
We've had a great summer-baby growing, Jack starting a new job, and being adventurous. We spent lots of days at the pool and Dalton slowly went from being timid going under to all the time. It was fun to watch him evolve. By the last day, he went down the water slide about 30 times in a row and he didn't want us to catch him.
Jack started his new job as a project manager. He is much happier and he can look back, be thankful for his accounting experience, but look forward, hopeful. I can see how it was good learning experience and helpful in his present job. I'm not sure if most people would be really upset about the whole thing or not, but I'm not in the least. I saw how he struggled, searched, and attempted. This is something I did years ago and understand his search. I'm proud of him and can see him thriving already with his challenges in his new job. I pray he finds continued happiness there.
Dalton had a lot of "firsts" this summer:

First bowling

First Fair and Faris wheel. 

First roller coaster with his friend, Jane

First dinosaur exhibit. This didn't go over so well.

First carousel

First fast boat ride and driving it!

And we got to see some of our cousins

John Mac, Caroline, Hannah, William, and Henry. A fun day of hiking

Dory in town from Texas

I, of course, threw a luau:

Dalton helped me decorate and he enjoyed it. This made me really happy :)

And we got to take a trip to the beach, thanks to my in-laws. It was fun having Jack there this time and Dalton had the best time. I was skeptical of my in-laws who kept talking about the ins and outs of building a sand castle. I'm a different kind of beach goer... I like to lay there and relax. My mother-in-law asked us to bring a shovel (not a play shovel, a big regular one) for the castle and I thought "oh no". But I have to say, by the end of the week I was the only one working on the sand castle. I got really into it and enjoyed making them. I ate my words.

Chasing the seagulls. A big favorite

Instructional video we watched. There's a theme song in it and it's pretty catchy!

Dalton's favorite part was getting to destroy the castle at the end of the day

Our favorite part was taking a dolphin sunset boat ride. Dalton loved "going fast" and the adults (minus me, blah) got
to indulge in endless alcohol. We saw dolphins and Garth Brook's house where we think Tricia was out on the dock. I love me some Tricia Yearwood! Come on- "She's in love with the boy" so good.

Like a dream, there just happened to be an air show right as we were coming in and at sunset. It was magical.

Summer was good to us. Now bring on the fall (and baby :))!

Mickey and Dalton had a Farm

I'm so sorry... I've set down to post this thing about 5 times and seriously lack desire to do it. The Barbies have made me never want to get on the internet again. (I'm sorry, but now in my head I refer to Barbie as the b word. Kinda makes me giggle. I'm sorry, Anna). BUT I have some adorable pictures of friends and people have been asking what we ended up doing. So here it is!

Dalton had his 3rd Birthday (April 3rd) and the theme was Farmer Mickey! Yes, I had a thrill planning the party and it was such a good time. I picked the theme because Dalton loves Mickey Mouse and he adores tractors. There's a Mickey episode about Mickey and Donald's farm that he loves and then I found a Farmer Mickey book. That's how it all came together. The kids played outside the whole time and the weather was great. He's 3 (I know he looks 5)!

Per usual I like to use some things around the house-I used
tree stumps that Jack had cut up for the woodland themed shower I threw. I also pulled
chicken wire from my garden fence and stapled it to this frame. Cut off a branch from my
tree and voila. I look fancy. In the middle is the invitation. I did, of course, went out
and bought that mini cowboy hat for Dalton's Mickey. Ha.

Surprise visit from my great friend, Lindsey, her husband, Sam, and handsome son, McClain. They just happened to
"be stopping through" from Austin, TX to Lexington! It felt so special to have them there.

Tire swing was the hit of the party thanks to Richard, Beau, and Jack.

The kids enjoyed Pinning the Button on Mickey. I thought it
would flop but it was a winner.

I took the farmer mickey book, cut into bunting, then sewed it together. Like the one in my kitchen to hide the
unfinished drywall :). No comment.

This didn't quite work. I think maybe 2 people planted a seed. But good idea, Cindi.

The best thing we've ever bought. For Dalton's birthday we got him this
gator from our friend's, the Cowans. He rides it every day. Probably more miles on
it than my car. I'm shocked he was so open to letting Lilian drive it.

Jordan (my niece's friend), Grace (niece), and Dad/Mom

It's a Party!

I'm so glad Richard and Ouisey took time on the
photo op horse. Great pic!

I found a gluten/egg/soy/dairy/nut (ha ha, freak!) free cupcake mix. The brand is Cherrybrook, if anyone is interested. Success!

I had a basket of Mickey ears and bandanas to wear. Boy, am I glad I did!

Ouisey Mouse

Littles playing together-I love it!
Ellen and George

Dalton's neighbor and best bud, Amelia on the hay stacks. 

Thankful

Does God ever show you his goodness and mercy in a situation for you to look back and be thankful? He did that for me this week. My friend, Audra, came across a news story about a woman who was diagnosed with the same thing I had been-placental cancer or placental site trophoblastic tumor. She warned me it was sad and once I read it, I just wept. Yes, the story was extremely sad and I ache for their pain, but for me, my tears were for his goodness and mercy. He gave me a glimpse into what could have been. It made me fall in humility to why he would let me have a healthy son and be healed. It let me see really how God was so good in my situation. Since becoming a parent, I can really get an idea of how God is taking care of us, only for us to complain or question why he would say no or make us do something we don't want to. I just pray that he continues to open my selfish eyes. Parenting, like marriage, really exposes our weaknesses, doesn't it? Or is it just me? :)
This season in my life, God has been teaching me to pray for mercy. My questions have changed from "why me?" when something tragic happens, to "why not me?". What makes God choose to shine his grace and mercy on me... on us, who are believers? It's been extremely humbling for me in this season of my life. I did ask him for humility in my prayers, but I just assumed (and it still may) that the lesson would come in some form of embarrassment. Ha.
On a lighter note, I will say that one of my grandmother's dolls took her life last week. She left me some warning signs... her middle finger fell off and I found her eyelashes had fallen off and onto her dress (since when do these dolls have eyelashes? I wouldn't be surprised if they were from real hair). Well, I had set her up for a photo shoot (I know, I know) and then I went to take a nap and I woke to her falling over. Head first. My first thought was that I didn't have to sell her and then I was excited to use her head to scare people. Jack did not think it was cool to find her on his side of the bed. Nor did my friend, Melanie, as she opened a gift bag left on her front windshield. Wahhhaaaaaah.

Minutes before the incident. RIP Olga. 

My Jeannie

Jeanne Lannom Cathey Fraser

My "Jeannie" as I always called her, aka. my grandmother and name sake, went to be with her Lord on December 28th. As some of you knew, she had a quick diagnosis of lung cancer that was found because it had spread to her liver. It was a slow growing cancer, but by the time they found it it had spread already to her lymph nodes.

Jeannie was deathly terrified of doctors, needles, hospitals and it was a blessing that she never had to get surgery or chemotherapy treatment. God knew what to do. And I do believe he brought her even closer to him during her last struggle.

My Jeannie was the ultimate definition of a southern lady. She was about 4'11" and was very petite. She always had makeup on, you must always have a fresh coat of lipstick.You never show up without calling. She had plastic on her furniture in the living room. Her clothes were always impeccably pressed and put together. She collected Barbies and porcelain dolls-more about this in a minute. It was not "proper" to say this or that and you never, ever tell your age. In fact, I never knew it until she got sick because my mom saw it on her hospital bracelet. All these things were actually rather charming. She was a funny and quick witted lady that would go to the moon and back for her children or grandchildren. She always worried that we were okay and would always make me call when I left the house and when I got home, if I was visiting. I have wonderful memories of tea parties with her and chinese checkers. Of course, instead of tea she would give me coffee with lots of sugar and cool whip on top. There was a time there when I stayed with her and my grandfather, Norman, every weekend. My grandfather would wake up late because he was on late night television so Jeannie and I would watch the news-her favorite thing to watch-and sip on our coffee before he woke. She would start breakfast (fried potatoes and sausage or bacon usually because my grandfather didn't like eggs!) and teach me along the way. She tried to reuse and keep everything, like the plastic bags that held the silverware at Shoneys to use as a toothbrush holder when you travel. Don't dare throw away the used wrapping paper or aluminum foil. She was the best at ironing and would come get a basket full of clothes from my mom and do it all. I missed that lesson because I'm the worst at ironing ever (although I'm getting better from sewing). Jeannie and my grandfather were total opposites, but she handled him like no other. She was a very strong lady after living through her young sister's death, first husband's death, then second, and her youngest son. She may have looked weak but she certainly was not.

The funeral was beautiful. Her boss of 30+ years at the Southern Baptist Convention's Education Commission Board did the service. It was great to hear all of her practical jokes she played on everyone there. He also spoke to her love of the Lord and different prayers she had written close to her death. I miss Jeannie. I miss her petite hands holding mine and her smile. I miss her encouragements. I miss the way she laughed. But I have hope. I will see her again and now I just wanted to share how she made a difference to me and others.

I've been put in charge of selling her HUGE collection of Barbies and a few scary dolls. When I say huge, I mean 2 car load trips. I mean fill-up-a-basement collection. HUGE.

Now I am not the girl-est of girls, so it wasn't that exciting and I didn't even want to keep any. Sure, I played with Barbies when I was younger, but I remember playing outside more. That has changed over the last 3 months. I've been kind of getting into the "photo shoots" and looking at their detailed dresses. The other day I was telling Jack I was starting to get attached, he grabbed me and said "get a hold of yourself". Haha. It's been quite a learning curve with ebay and box sizes and shipping, etc. I can now say I am quite the Barbie wizard (I've even decided to keep 3 incase I have a girl one day). This is why I have not been blogging lately. My second job is selling Barbies.  Here are a couple of my favorites:

The entire My Fair Lady Collection

Rhett and Scarlett (the red dress when she goes to Ashley's birthday party. The nerve!)

Christian Dior in Paris (I actually really loved this one)

Barbie and Kenny. Seriously.

98' Olympic Ken and Barbie. Tara Lipinski is on the back.
Yes, I did use this at my Olympics party.

How about a Peter Rabbit skirt?

Barbie based on Monet's Water Lilies and Van Gogh's Sunflowers. 

Self explanatory

Even Barbie loves Cracker Barrel

If only Hilary looked this good.

Be still before the Lord...

I want to tell you about how God spoke to me personally yesterday. I also want you to know I tell you because you are my friends, I want to praise God appropriately, and to encourage you when you don't seem to hear from him. I hope it comes across that way.
I got my last blood draw of the year yesterday. At the beginning of the year, I got a long list of dates to come in and be monitored. December 9th was the last one on the list. I didn't necessarily know that this was the last one or just on this particular sheet of paper. When I called to tell them I would just draw my blood at work and send it, I also wanted to know what was the next move (I secretly was hoping he would release me, but didn't want to get too excited). The nurse said she would call me back... at work, I received the call that he would continue drawing my blood for the next year. Only every 6 months, so two more times. I sheepishly asked, "Does that mean we can't start trying for more kids yet?". She replied "no, you can't".
I was devastated. My heart ached. I hung up, tears streaming down my face and felt panic begin to rise in my chest. I went in the bathroom and started to cry.
I wasn't expecting this; another year of waiting.
I started to pray and talk myself through what I just read about in my bible that morning and asked God to help me do it: obey. Lord, you are good. Lord, you are in control. You are always good. It helped for a moment, but then my mind started to plan. Adoption? No money. Years to come by. Surrogate? How do I even figure out how to go about doing that? Will they let me? No, I need scripture. I have to stop planning and let him lead. I need to pull it together. I have a girl waiting for a pregnancy test. A pregnancy test.
The holy spirit told me to open my bible and I open immediately to Psalm 37. Not flipped, just opened it. This is what the Holy Spirit personally spoke to me:

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!" Psalm 37:3-7


By the way, it was also noonday. 12:49, to be exact. It was exactly what I needed to remind me He is in control, no matter what. He will act and to wait patiently. I have no idea how I can do it, but I don't have to because he will provide strength and direction.
I continued through the busy day, occasionally realizing that my work triggers emotions. This work requires lots of prayer, especially when it's dealing with exactly what you long for.
At some point I call the nurse back to ask to speak to my oncologist. It wasn't the original plan we talked about, so she said she would call me back, but it probably wouldn't be today. She called back at 5 and I missed it by one ring. I call, it's the answering service. She calls me again while I'm listening to the answering service.
She tells me that we can start trying to have a family. We don't have to wait. IT's over. The waiting is over, they will monitor two more times over the next year. That is it.
I weep and weep some more. My God did answer... in some ways 2 1/2 years later, in some ways, 4 hours later. Praise God. I still have no idea about the future and I'm not promised more children or long years of good health. What I am promised is that he will bring forth my righteousness, justice, and give me the desires of my heart. In the end, that is enough. And when I forget that, I will go back to this day of how God blatantly and intentionally answered my prayer. And he will again and again, in his perfect timing.
Sunday at church, we read through when Jesus is at the garden of gethsemane and it's first time he's been distressed and troubled. It wasn't when there were storms all around him or his friends dying, it was before facing separation from God when he was going to take on the sins of the world. This keeps striking me, that I can no longer fear men or the future. What I really should fear beyond anything is being apart from my God.
Thanks for letting me share my fears and sorrows... but mostly how our God is personal and powerful.