Zero. Nada. Zip.

Life is sweeter. My numbers were zero last Friday, Feburary 3rd, the day I became Cancer Free! I need to make a tshirt. I seriously was in a state of unbelief, I just couldn't believe how fast they came down. Last time, if you all remember, it took much longer. This was one of the hardest parts about treatment last time because I was continuously being let down when I was hopeful. I am so thankful to God for his mercy and grace to let them go down so fast. I can't imagine having to do this for 17 weeks x2 (if you figure in how last time it took and then every other week!).
I spent the day after returning from treatment taking in every moment. From how my foot struck the pavement on our walk, to the way the air smelled. I just wanted to be present for that day. I played with Dalton all day and kept receiving the sweetest messages, calls, and emails from the news. I cried sporadically all weekend and read psalms.
Jack and I went on a gluttonous eating spree all weekend, aka no vegan food. It started with getting this lemon blueberry cupcake from Ivey's and Chickfila for dinner. That chickfila sauce was like nectar from the gods. My friend, Katy, sent a box of celebration complete with a zero candle, noise makers, a dancing monkey, and balloons.
I waited to do this post because I kept wanting to come up with some great verse or quote to communicate my feelings, but nothing did it. My heart is overflowed with thanksgiving and love-all from God, my family, and my friends. I wish I could express how love I felt. There is a book that Dalton has called God Thinks Your Wonderful by Max Lucado. It's so simple, yet has spoken to me as I read it to Dalton. It's a love letter from God to you. "If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. If he had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning. He can live anywhere in the universe and he chose your heart. So try this, next time you see a sunrise that steals your breath... or a meadow of flowers that leaves you speechless... remain in that way. Say nothing and listen as heaven whispers, "do you like it? I did it just for you." So promise me you'll never forget that you aren't an accident or an incident... you are a gift to the world, a divine work of art signed by God. "
My aunt-in-law invited me to a restorative yoga class on Sunday. Nothing rigorous, just relaxing poses, healing touch massage, and gongs. It was two hours of silence and the teacher was wanting us to "return to our original state of love. No jealousy, hate, judgment." Well, how could I explain to her that is not my original state? I'm not really that loving. I did not raise my hand and tell her this, instead I called upon God to give me his love. I kept trying to think of what I wanted God to say to me during this time, but finally I stopped and just told him I would listen. You know what he chose to tell me? He loves me. That is all. It felt wonderful just to rest and except this.

Joyful and look at that amazing miracle smiling at me.

Pop Culture

I'm addicted to Entertainment Weekly. Jack mocks me every Friday as I run to the mailbox, he does this high pitched voice of me "I've got to get my Entertainment Weekly". Yeah, yeah. It keeps me up to date on all things music, books, tv, movies, and even plays.  I have to credit it for helping me find Downton Abbey last year, giving me a great book idea for book club only to suck, introducing me to Bon Iver and Fleet foxes, and using many of it's beautiful pictures for my homemade cards. It's not always perfect, but I love it. I always turn to bulls eye first, flip through, and then go back and read it. They also have a great website where Kristen Baldwin, my girl crush, writes reviews for the Bachelor and does podcasts. This weeks podcast they decide who is better Matthew Crowley or Mr Bates? What is your vote? I'm going to say Mr. Bates, but let's see what happens with this whole murdered wife thing.

They also discuss New Girl-which I unashamedly love (so does Jack!). I don't care what you say friends, I love me some Zooey. Always have ever since she hit that wall in Almost Famous. You either hate her or love her. Check out the podcast here. The first part discusses Downton, so you don't have to listen through New Girl if you're a hater.

I also love this week: auto tune videos of Kristen Bell's sloth and Courtney from the bachelor. If you haven't seen Kristen Bell's video of her crying about a sloth, you have to watch it.

Dalton singing

Dalton is loving singing. I often find him singing to himself in the car or when we sing a note to him. I'm already booking him for weddings and bat mitzvahs.

I need thee every hour

I was struck once again by the simplicity and the truth of these lyrics. It's good to be reminded how much I do need him.
I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain; Come quickly and abide, or life is vain.
I need Thee every hour; teach me thy will; and thy rich promises in me fulfill.
I need Thee every hour, most Holy One; Oh, make me Thine indeed, Thou blessed Son.
I need Thee, oh, I need Thee; Every hour I need Thee; Oh, bless me now, my Savior, I come to Thee.

10 Months

What up

My little man is not so little. He's gaining that weight back like a champ, now let's just hope the insurance will cover our insane costing formula! Dalton loves throwing ball, his firetruck, pulling everything from the cabinets, and one day he's going to turn into a waffle. We are enjoying his first music class- he pretty much always heads to the electrical outlets (that are covered) and goes up to each mom, he's very social. I'm having so much fun with Dalton, we are bff's right now (although occasionally, like a bff, can be a little clingy). I don't know what I would do without him during this time. I'm deciding more and more he is my little miracle baby, but aren't they all?!

He got in a fight over the weekend.

You should see the other kid.

All abouwt the hockey

This is the one month Jack requested... Hockey. So in honor of all things Canadian and hockey season, I give you Dalton, the hockey pro.

Notice his life-like ice skates. 

Canadian stache

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The circumstances were hilarious. It was raining and I took my mother-in-law and Dalton with me to the downtown arena. My plan was to use the predators shop and it was supposed to be open, but due to the circus being in town, it was closed. Doh. Side note- there were about 10 women holding signs saying "Barnum and Bailey beats baby elephants" with blood splattered across it. Printed signs, standing in the rain. I wonder how this was all set up. Anyways, I digress.

I acted like the place was not closed. I marched right in like I knew what I was doing and snuck in through a door that was being used by maintenance. The store was closed, but luckily the door was half way up. Two guys were stocking the store and I asked them if I could take a picture of my son. Just the usual dress up picture. They laughed and handed me the stuffed Knash doll. It all worked out. I am fine with Dalton playing hockey, but he will not be allowed to fight. I don't care how much Jack tells me it's part of the game, it will not happen. Eh! I also realize I am posting this 9 month themed picture while he is turning 10 months, but I'm sure you will excuse my tardiness.